i tend to like naming my playlists and taking their descriptions from some pertinent lyrics from one of the songs in the mix. i feel that it incorporates everything in a more fluid way. the lyrics will give the listener a good idea of the tone of the mix and will work together with the image i have chosen to represent the mix with. sometimes finding the right lyrics is really easy. they usually come from the centerpiece of the mix, the song that inspired the rest. but every once in a while i’ll end up finding so many good lyrics in the other songs in the playlist that i get overwhelmed and don’t publish the mix for weeks, just to find those perfect words.
this mix went through a few of titles. the original centerpiece was the rolling stone’s “hide your love”, from which i wanted to take “sometimes up, sometimes i’m down” as the title. it would have worked well considering the vacillation that occurs from the first song to the last. it really hits at the core playlist. it’s another desperate mix, one that cries out for an unrequited love. sometimes one wants the love to be mirrored, other times it has just been too much and it goes away. that feeling of acceptance can be seen in kurt vile’s “in my time”. while not necessarily a song about love, it does show an acceptance that can take hold in an unrequited love.
another option was the lyric, “lord it’s so hot, and my heart’s bleeding” from spacemen 3’s “so hot (wash away all of my tears)”. this is an achingly beautiful song, that really takes a lot out of me when i hear it. the following lyrics that would go into the description, “i ain’t been with you and it’s you i’m needing right now” really push forth the unrequited tone of the mix. it also aligns it self well with songs like “i want to tell you” by the beatles and “maybe after he’s gone” by the zombies.
ultimately i went with a more negative title and description. “if i leave before you” comes from the antler’s “i don’t want love”, a decidedly anti-love song. while it is about a destructive active relationship, i feel that the interpretation of illustrating a general destructive love works well. it’s the anger and despair of unrequited love finally being requited at far too late a time. the song is the most negative in the mix and is a essentially reaction to what comes before. it’s not a happy song like big star’s “i’m in love with a girl”. its more akin to the rolling stones song and the a.c. newman song, “drink to me babe”.
this mix feature a photo by my sister, kayla. it is a self portrait that i really like. she added a little message to it as well. i felt it worked overtly well with this mix and had to use it. so here it is, “if i leave before you”, hope you enjoy it.
8tracks, 24:18 mins, photo by kayla fernandez, please take note of the original track listing as 8tracks changes it up after the first time you play it.